Whether you’re doing it
yourself or hiring professionals, renovating can be a major cause of
relationship stress.
From the overwhelming number
of decisions that have to made, to the high – and sometimes unpredictable—cost
of many reno projects, couples undertaking a major renovation together have
their work cut out for them.
As we head into the height of renovation
season, here are 7 Tips for Keeping Your Marriage Together While Tearing Your
House Apart:
1. Be very clear with each other about what you expect.
As is the case with most
aspects in life, effective communication is the key to happiness. From the
overall scope of the project and the amount of money you’re willing to spend,
to specific design details and your living arrangements during the renovation, communication
is critical to a successful project you can both relax and enjoy once the work
is done.
2. Set a realistic budget.
Make sure your renovation is
within your financial means. If you can’t afford your “dream” reno, then be
prepared to make compromises in the quality of the materials you choose (ie. laminate
instead of hardwood flooring, for example). If you are not willing to
compromise, then keep saving and plan to renovate at a later date. If you
decide to go ahead with your project, be sure to build in a 20 per cent
contingency for “surprises” along the way.
3. Avoid decision fatigue.
Although you’re probably
excited by the thought of choosing all the design elements that will make up
your new space, there may come a time when making even one more decision is one decision too many. Do yourself and your
partner a favour and make the majority of the decisions (tile, flooring,
finishes) before the renovation begins.
4. Don’t renovate on a tight deadline.
Perhaps you’re sprucing up
your home for a major holiday, a big family function or as you prepare to sell.
A tight deadline is a recipe for disaster and just adds stress to an already
stressful situation.
5. Hire a full-service company.
Not only is it crucial to
keep the lines of communication open between you and your partner, it’s makes
sense if the company you hire is a full-service company that provides complete
project management. That way, you deal with one person, and the company deals
with all of the contractors required for your project. When you coordinate the
various contractors yourself, you may receive inconsistent or conflicting messages.
If your contractors are receiving conflicting messages, your frustration and
stress will multiply as the job gets delayed or executed incorrectly.
6. Keep one room as a sanctuary.
No matter how hard you try
to keep your house free of dust and dirt, it’s going to get messy. And the
bigger the renovation, the longer you’ll have to live with the inconvenience.
Having one clean, organized room in your home to escape to will help maintain
your sanity and make a huge difference in your family’s ability to cope with
the chaos that surrounds you.
7. Maintain some form of normalcy.
Don’t play down the
importance of taking an occasional break. If possible, plan a night away at a
hotel or an evening out with friends. The endless cycle of decision-making,
cleaning and running around can put an incredible strain on your relationship. Avoid
letting your renovation define your whole life.
